'Tis the Season to be Stressed: Perfectionism During the Holidays

'Tis the season to be stressed- is that how it feels for you? Does your holiday season often consist of endlessly searching for the perfect gifts, spending hours planning the perfect holiday event, or working tireless to create the perfect holiday magic? For perfectionists, the holiday season often becomes a marathon of shoulds, have-tos, and musts. It's a month spent creating what looks to be a perfect Christmas for everyone but themselves. Christmas can be a rough time of year for the perfectionist.

Some of the pitfalls perfectionists tend to fall into this time of year include:

• Obsessive planning

• Unrealistic expectations around a Pinterest or Instagram worthy holiday experience

• Overcommitting and saying yes to all the events and invites

• Pressure to give the perfect gift or gifts for everyone

• A feeling that if you don't create the perfect holiday magic, then you have failed

Does this sound familiar? If it does I would bet that the holiday season is also filled with irritability, anxiety, and possibly unhealthy coping. I would also bet that by the end of the holiday season you are burned out. For many, perfectionism can lead to struggles with mood or problems in relationships. It doesn't have to be this way. Here are some tips for overcoming your perfectionism during the holidays:

• Pay attention to when your planning or efforts have gone from an enjoyable activity you want to do to a task you feel you have to do. Ask yourself if it is truly necessary.

• Don't be afraid to say no. It is ok to set limits around your time and you do not need to agree to every invitation or request.

• Set realistic expectations for yourself. Your worth has nothing to do with the gifts you give or how aesthetic your party is.

• The old adage of your presence is greater than presents is not wrong. The holidays will be more meaningful for you and your family if you can step away from the endless pursuit and simply be.

If you struggle with perfectionism, therapy can help you understand your patterns and to have a more balanced life. I specialize in helping adults with chronic stress, anxiety, perfectionism, and burnout. I offer free consultations so call or check out my website to learn more.