Five Steps to Stop Overthinking

Jul 20
4 min read

Infographic titled 5 Steps to Stop Overthinking with five brown italic tips on a white background, calm and minimal, by Katie Bernard

If you are someone who overthinks everything, you probably already know that telling yourself to “just stop thinking about it” does not work.

In fact, trying to force yourself to stop overthinking can quickly become its own form of overthinking. You start thinking about why you are thinking so much, whether the thinking means something is wrong, how to stop the thinking, wondering why you always overthink, and suddenly you are five layers deep in a mental spiral that started with trying to be less anxious.

Overthinking or overanalyzing can be frustrating because it often starts as something useful. Reviewing, preparing, analyzing, predicting, problem-solving, and trying to make sure you do not miss anything important are not bad in and of themselves, but can quickly become unhelpful as anxiety takes over.

Here Are 5 Steps to Stop Overthinking

Step 1

Acknowledge that no amount of overthinking or overanalyzing will eliminate uncertainty.

At the core of overthinking is fear of or discomfort with uncertainty and overthinking is the tool your mind is trying to use to get rid of the uncertainty. But it never works. Uncertainty is a fact of life.

Step 2

Acknowledge that your overthinking/overanalyzing is no longer helpful.

I'm sure I don't have to tell you that some amount of thinking, analyzing, planning, etc. is necessary to be a functioning and successful adult. So how do you know when it's shifted from helpful to unhelpful? Some signs are when no steps are actually being taken- you're just spinning your wheels with the same set of facts, interpretations, and thoughts. Another sign is when you can feel anxiety at the controls. For some this may feel like a sense of panic or their thoughts becoming frantic for others it may be increasing physical sensations or their emotions teetering out of control.

Step 3

Acknowledge that the thoughts themselves are not the problem- your attention to them is.

Woman stands on a grassy riverbank, looking over a winding blue river through green hills and trees under a warm sun.

Our mind is a constantly flowing river of thoughts that you cannot dam- but you don't have to jump into

the river either. Shifting from the struggle to stop your thoughts and, instead, accepting the thoughts as an experience you're having and choosing how much attention you give them can be powerful.

Step 4

Practice seeing your thoughts as an experience your mind is having and practice distancing yourself from them.

This is called thought defusion and is a skill taught in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). The goal is to create a sense that your thoughts are an experience separate from you and are something you can observe non-judgmentally. One strategy to practice this is with visualizations. For example, imagine the river I mentioned before. Imagine yourself standing on the bank of the river and your thoughts as objects that float down the river before you. Give them shape, size, and color. Another strategy is to name your anxious/overthinking mind. Give an actual name to the part of your mind that engages in the overthinking. Maybe Bob, Barbara, or just The Overthinker- you get the idea here. When the overthinking starts your inner dialogue can sound something like, "Not now Bob, this isn't helpful and I have better things to do". This sounds silly but can be very powerful. Speaking of silly, another strategy your can try is speaking your overthinking thoughts out loud in a silly voice, an accent, or even signing it. It's much harder to fall into overthinking traps when silliness disempowers the thoughts.

For more ACT thought metaphors check out the file below:

Step 5

Move forward in the direction of your values and goals

Overthinking is a trap. The cycle of uncertainty, anxiety, and overthinking keeps people stuck and so the final step is to intentionally take steps that you know are aligned with your goals and values. In step 5 it's important to remember step 1- absolute certainty does not exist and no amount of overthinking or overanalyzing will create that certainty but you will need to take forward steps anyway. Not sure what step to take? Take any! Just do something, big or small, that connects you to your goals and values.

Now that you know the five steps it's important to let you know you will not be good at them right away. This is a skill and one that takes intentional practice and time to develop. Rather than waiting to try it out when you're in the middle of an overthinking spiral, practice these steps everyday with neutral or only mildly anxious thoughts. Why not try it right now?

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